Snozberries? Who ever heard of a snozberry?

We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamer of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.


We, in the ages lying
In the buried past of earth,
Built Nineveh with our sighing,
And Babel itself with our mirth;
And o'erthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world's worth;
For each age is a dream that is dying,
Or one that is coming to birth.

Ahhh!

Well, here we go....

I'm on that campaign crack!

Alright, I have to be more consistent with this blog thing! I feel my 'feeling like a better person' thing slipping away. There is actually quite a bit going on right now. My dad has thrown his hat back in the political ring and I am beyond excited! State Board of Education...here we come! Working on a campaign is like crack to me...lol...I love it! We are officially announcing Monday morning and then it's gonna get crazy until March. And I figure if Scott Brown can win Ted Kennedy's seat with a pick-up we can win our election after only knowing we were going to run 60 days before the primary. With the help of my wonderful mother-in-law we have got half the world praying for him already. Prayer is the stone that will knock down the current incumbent Goliath so I am optimistic.
And speaking of Goliath...Tamara and I have decided to train for a 5k in Dallas on April 10. I'm pretty sure that after all we have been through, this decision is the one that officially makes us crazy. She would probably disagree. Anyway, we are going to train 6 days a week and quit smoking. My flesh is not happy about any of that but I know when I get on the other side of it I will feel (and look!) so much better. It will be good for me to have a goal and be active.
I am so enjoying my boys right now. Kaden is 5 and Kohl is two and it blows my mind how different they are. Kaden is musical and deep and inquisitive. Kohl is outgoing, cuddly and so, so funny. It is one of the great joys of my life to be able to be with them every day. I pray that God will give me the desire of my heart... to raise uncompromising Godly men in a world of compromise. I have to trust in the fact that where I am weak He is strong.
Personally, I have had a very interesting 7 days. I have learned a lot which I'll talk more about later but it basically boils down to this: you can't go back. You can't go back to people, situations, and activities that God has told you will never satisfy you. He is a jealous God and He will not share you. So I'm throwing up the white flag in certain areas of my life and surrendering to Him. I know the call on my life and I know where peace is and I want everything that my destiny entails. Obedience and balance are the keys...

Ohhh, so this is who I am...I remember now!

I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I am the head and not the tail, above all and not beneath. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am more than a conqueror. I am a new creation in Christ. My name is tattooed on the palm of Gods hand. He cares enough to count every hair on my head and keep all my tears in a bottle. I am free because whom the son sets free is free indeed. There is therefore now no condemnation for me. My Heavenly Father loves me with a pure and perfect love and nothing can separate me from that love. I am a daughter of the King, royalty....a princess. I have the spirit of power, love and self control. Sin has no power over me. I am never alone because my God will never leave me or forsake me. I am fully accepted just the way I am by the only one who matters. I am a woman of God...established by Christ, anointed by his Spirit and sealed by the King and if He is for me, who can be against me?

Holy Spirit, write these truths on my heart today in every circumstance.

Pink Ribbon

I am missing my mom like crazy today.

And scene...

My life has been crazy, crazy busy since Thanksgiving. Lubbock, Thanksgiving, Beth Moore conference, Lubbock again, skiing, Christmas in El Paso, Christmas in Odessa, New Years. And in the midst of all of that, being a mom and lots of time with my friends. And today I just feel like it all screeched to a startling stop, and I have a little whiplash from it. I am a person who needs or maybe just likes something to look forward to. And that's what I can't figure out...is the want to have something to look forward to, something that makes me excited, is that a need that God wants me to get rid of or is it how he made me? I've asked him for clarification on this issue and I'm sure He will reveal it to me...just probably not in the timing that I think He should.
On another front, I have been thinking for a while that I have forgotten who I am. Which got me to wondering if I ever really knew and that I have to admit...threw me into a little bit of an anxiety attack. And then in a weird twist of fate I found a note that I wrote on facebook almost a year ago...25 things about me..this is what I wrote:

1. I know this man named Jesus and He changed my life...I hope you know Him too.
2. I have had the same best friend since I was 5. She continually enriches my life. Love you Moca!
3. I love politics. My dad ran for State Representative and I helped run his campaign...he didn't win but we sure had fun.
4. I have lots of family from every unconventional way you can think of...4 brothers, 2 sisters, 2-brother-in-law, 4 sister-in-laws, 4 nieces, 3 nephews, moms, dads...the list could go on. I love my family...there is no greater blessing.
5. I have 2 boys that continually amaze me...Kaden,4 and Kohl, 18 months. I was trying to explain the Holy Spirit to Kaden yesterday and after a really bad explanation on my part he said..."So the Holy Ghost gives you Jesus power?" Wow..I should write that down...couldn't have said it any better.
6. That leads me to number 6. I believe that being a Mom is one of the most important jobs in the world. The fact that God trusted me with these children is a responsibility that I don't take lightly.
7. Wow I really can't believe I am saying this one...this is something I usually have to sit someone down and swear them to secrecy before I admit...but here goes - I love Neil Diamond..not just like, love. Cracklin' Rosie get on board.....okay, lets move on.
8. On that note (pun intended)...I love music. All music. I am pretty sure that the IPOD came straight from heaven. God cares about these things.
9. I love books. People who can write something that inspires, educates or really entertains, amaze me.
10. I am super analytical. I love to look at a situation and "figure it out". It is a blessing and a curse..just ask my husband.
11. I absolutely love people. They energize me. Not to be repetitive, but this too is a blessing and a curse.
12. My husband is a DJ. I have turntables in my living room right now..and surprisingly that is okay with me.
13. I was Bohemian when Bohemian wasn't cool.
14. I am an oil man's daughter. A field full of pump jacks is a beautiful sight to me.
15. I have lived in just about every major city in Texas...and then settled back in Odessa...it really is a big magnet.
16. I love football. When I was about 10 my family started spending every Thanksgiving at Texas Stadium..fun times! Go Cowboys!
17. My mom passed away of breast cancer when I was 16...I still miss her every day.
18. I was on the debate team in high school..I know it sounds dorky but I loved it. I think communication is an amazing skill.
19. My favorite restaurant is P. F. Changs. If you haven't had their lettuce wraps you haven't really lived.
20. I love chocolate. Today I found out that a Christian man invented Hershey's which just confirmed what I already knew...chocolate came from God.
21. Looking back at my list - I really like to use the three dots...
22. My first car was a Nissan Pulsar. I called it my Tonka Toy - it was really small.
23. It is exciting to think that we are really just starting to live out what God has called my family to do. I can't wait to see where He takes us.
24. I want to travel. There are so many places that I want to see.
25. I would love to adopt a child. I don't know if God has it in my future but I am definitely willing.

I read this list and most of my anxiety left because as much that has changed since then the above 25 things are still true. So I know those things today and for today that is enough. There truly is smoke in front of my mirror but I feel like it is starting to blow away...very slowly but at least it's forward progress.
Finally, I fear that this blog may become an obsession to me...it makes me lighter to write things down, maybe that's why God's been telling me to do it. And Tamara...I'm buying you cocktail napkins for your birthday.

Here I go...

Okay, so I don't really believe in New Years resolutions. I figure that anything I can resolve to do on January 1st I should have or could have resolved to do on December 5th. But this year I am feeling a need for a new beginning. So I made some decisions...I'm not calling them resolutions, I'm calling them commitments.
I feel like God has been telling me for a while now to start writing things down. To keep a record of my emotions, revelations, joys, sorrows and things that just make me think. I originally didn't think that a blog was the best place to do that but after spending some time in prayer on the notorious, change your life, become a better person day (Janurary 1st) I felt like that is what He was leading me to do.
So I don't know where this is going to go and I don't know if anyone will read it but me...and that's totally fine. But here I go...
First commitment, start blogging...check. I feel like a better person already...